Gobbling this way first by one…no…now gobbling that way by another…up…down…right…left…everyone with the best intensions…
What to do…what not to do…is it my choice…is it another’s choice…who cares…? Ahhhh…it IS always my choice…what I do.
I wonder what’s being created here…what’s mine…what belongs to someone else. The dynamics of families are amazing…especially as the death of a young one unexpectedly approaches (my nephew is dying)…sometimes difficult to remember we are all separate beings (at the same time as we are all “one”…I know, I know). And we each make choices.
I remember one of the most powerful books I ever read about marriage (“Passionate Marriage - Love, Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships” by David Schnarch) …example after example of couples in the throes of conflict…bottom line: “hang on to you!” I remember the impact of that concept (not sure it was so exactly stated) blew me away at the time…probably because my pattern had been, well most of the time anyway, giving myself up for the “other,” be it husband, client, organization, volunteer effort…you name it. I was a good legacy of missionaries to China and India.
So how did I (mostly) turn my habit/pattern around? I began to choose different. I chose me! And I’m still choosing me! Many times I don’t care…like where to go to eat or what movie/tv show to watch…and…when I do care, I remember to choose what’s “light” for me.
So as I move through the death of a wonderful young(er) man…making choices about what to do or not do for this man and his family, for my husband…for his family…and as I approach the holidays…, I remember how grateful I am to have known my nephew, what light he brought into my life and others, and how I have more of me because of all the choices I make.
What/who do you choose?
May you have ease, joy, and glory as we move into the holidays.